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Once the noodle is in both men's urethras, they take turns contracting their Kegels and sucking the noddle back and forth between their penises. The act of two men, each taking one end of a flaccid noodle, and sucking it into their urethra using their Kegels.


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Add the butter to the Instant Pot. Hit Sauté and Adjust so it's on More or High setting. Once melted and bubbling, add the chicken and mushrooms (if using) and sauté for 5 minutes, until the chicken is white in color and the mushrooms are softened and browned.


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Penis Pasta So many good pasta shapes out there: Farfalle, Fusill, Rigatoni, Conchiglie, Penne. That last one, Penne. Curiously similar in spelling and pronunciation to the Italian word for penis - 'pene'. To avoid any unnecessary confusion, some kinky chef did the decent thing and created Penis Pasta, and what a joy it is to behold. The Italian classic has been given a wonderful phallic.


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Add the ginger and garlic and cook until golden to flavour the oil, then remove and discard. Add the celery, chilli and half the spring onions and stir-fry for 2 minutes. Add the duck and stir-fry.


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Add the skin to a dry frying pan on a medium-high heat and fry for 3 to 5 minutes, or until crisp, then set aside. Pop the pan back on the heat and add the shredded duck meat for 2 minutes, then add the remaining hoisin sauce. Cook for 2 further minutes, until crispy and sticky. Meanwhile, pick the leaves from the herbs, and slice the cucumber.


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Bring a pot of water to a boil for the noodles. If you set aside meaty pieces of duck, put them on a foil-lined baking sheet. Reheat in the oven at 325°F for 8-10 minutes, and then keep warm in the oven. Once the soup has simmered for 20 minutes, add the napa cabbage, salt, sesame oil, and white pepper.


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Scoop pimento seeds out of the soup and add in onions, celery, yams and potatoes. Let cook about 15 minutes. Remove the celery if you wish and add in chicken, plantains, scotch bonnet, carrots and dumplings. Let cook another 15 minutes. Add spices (thyme, garlic, salt, powdered pepper, and powdered allspice.


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