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Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can't laugh at yourself, call me I'll laugh at you. I'm not clumsy, I'm just dancing with the floor. I don't need an alarm clock, my ideas wake me up. I don't snore, I dream loudly. I'm not old, I'm vintage.


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1. "I always say a lot of fake friends are the ones I can't get into a fight with, because if I get into a fight with them, it's over." -Dania Ramirez 2. "I don't need therapy. I need new friends." -Unknown 3. "Someone who smiles too much with you can sometime frown too much with you at your back." -Michael Bassey Johnson 4.


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Random Thoughts Updated: Nov 22, 2019 Let's start the list of quotes with some fake ones. Although they may be fake, their wit and sense of humor are worth the read. They are sure to bring a smile on your face and brighten up your day! Mahatma Gandhi Send Nudes, Not Hate - Mahatma Gandhi Everything that is found on the internet is not true


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114 114 comments Best [deleted] • 10 yr. ago fkitbaylife • 10 yr. ago "use the force, harry!" -Gandalf 42 9IX • 10 yr. ago "May the force ever be in your favor, Mr. Potter" -Gandalf, Chronicles of Narnia 12 LearningLifeAsIGo • 10 yr. ago I loved that part of Raiders of the Lost Arch! Mrocks2000 • 10 yr. ago Ark* Edit: I have been wooshed.


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1. "I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." —Mitch Hedberg 2. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room.".


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9. I wish I were a little kid so I could take a long nap and everyone would just be proud of me. 10. Keep it in your plants. 11. A yawn is a silent scream for coffee. 12. Drink some water you.


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#1 Fake Quote: "Luke, I am your father." - Darth Vader in "Star Wars: Episode V—The Empire Strikes Back" Real Quote: "No, I am your father." - Darth Vader in "Star Wars: Episode V—The Empire Strikes Back" Report 41 points POST I'm surprised Lucas didn't change it for the special editions. 7 View more comments #2 Fake Quote:


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All Your Favorite Famous Quotations Are Fake A quote investigator shares his tips for pinning down who really came up with the inspirational sayings that litter Facebook and Instagram. HC by.


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"The devil is in the details." — Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (misquote) Correct version: "God is in the details." "Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal and hoping someone else will get burned." — Buddha (misquote) "When we direct anger at another, it comes right back to us—like fine dust thrown against the wind."


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Oscar Wilde. "Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.". Steven Wright. "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.". Winston S. Churchill. "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.". George Carlin.


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Explore 805 Fake Quotes by authors including Mitch Hedberg, Groucho Marx, and Bad Bunny at BrainyQuote. "My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them." - Mitch Hedberg.. Funny Quotes. Christmas Quotes. Friendship Quotes. BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community.


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Quotes tagged as "fake" Showing 1-30 of 458. "The difference between my darkness and your darkness is that I can look at my own badness in the face and accept its existence while you are busy covering your mirror with a white linen sheet. The difference between my sins and your sins is that when I sin I know I'm sinning while you have.


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More like faking it till you break it." "Being fake is like trying to pass off a cheap knockoff as a designer brand." "Wearing a mask is fine for Halloween, but not for everyday life." "Fake people are like chameleons, except everyone can see right through their changing colors."


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1. "Fake people have an image to maintain. Real people just don't care." - Hachiman Hikigaya 2. "A person's character is shown through their actions in life NOT where they sit on Sunday.".


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Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Spanish proverb. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something. Mitch Hedberg. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. Unknown.


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#1. "Man with one chopstick go hungry." #2. "Man who cut self while shaving, lose face." #3. "He who has a sharp tongue, cuts own throat." #4. "A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose." #5. "Man who walk with nose in air very easy to hook." #6. "Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters in his own hands." #7.