Here's funny retirement advice from a distinguished Toastmaster
It is the beginning of the open highway.". "I'm not aging, I'm marinating.". "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.". "I'm retired — goodbye tension, hello pension!". "In retirement, you finally have the time to do all the nothing you've been waiting for.". "You're not.
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Prepare yourself for years of hearing: "You look too young to be retired!". Now it's time to stop fawning over your boss and start fawning over your grandkids. AARP: The sound you make when you realize that getting showered and dressed in the morning is now optional.
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Retirement is when you stop living at work and start working at living. 6. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. - Mark Twain. 7. To me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing. - Dick Van Dyke. 8.
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39) Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start bragging about your discounts. 40) Retirement is the time when you can finally have breakfast at 8:00 and lunch at 11:30 without feeling guilty. 41) Retirement: Twice as much husband, half as much money. 42) Retirement sounds like fun.
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Hilarious Retirement Quotes for Coworkers. Make a retiring colleague laugh with these funny quotes about retirement. "Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.". - Gene Perret. "Spreading sheets sounds more appealing than a spreadsheet.". - Unknown.
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Funny Retirement Quotes. The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons. 65 tips for a healthy, wealthy and happy retirement. Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. Robert Benchley. Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. George Burns.
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For the perks. "I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap." —Bob Hope. While the rest of the world has to rise when their alarm clock sounds, new.
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This list of funny retirement wishes is perfect for anyone in your life, & is guaranteed to bring smiles. Dictionary Thesaurus Sentences. Congratulations on your retirement! Time to start giving out advice, even though you never follow anyone else's. You're retired! You might have expected some free time, but your calendar is already.
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Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to. ~ Harry Emerson Fosdick. Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren't going to get rid of me that way. ~ Betty White. Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. ~ Will Rogers.
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Funny Retirement Messages For Husband. Dear husband, congratulations on your newfound freedom! keep calm and have fun. Happy retirement, love. And if you ever miss your workplace, I can be your boss for free! Now that you're done with your other job, you can go back to your main job- annoying me 24/7.
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Worry about running out of money!". "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.". "Congratulations! Now you'll get twice as much vacation without having to ask for it.". 4. Retirement Quotes. "Retirement is not the obsolete end of the world. It's the beginning of a new adventure!".
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1. "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.". - Jonathan Clements. 2. "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.". - Abe Lemons. 3. "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous.
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It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.". - Gene Perret. "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.". - Unknown. "You don't stop laughing when you grow old. You grow old when you stop laughing.". - George Bernard Shaw. "To me, retirement means doing what you have.
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Funny Retirement Quotes. 1) " Bye Bye Tension, Hello Pension! " - Unknown. 2) "Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.". - Gene Perret. 3) "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of.
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Below are 10 inspirational retirement quotes that may give a friend, or yourself, optimism and excitement beginning a new chapter in life: "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." ~ Fred Rogers. "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." ~ C. S. Lewis.
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Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. "John Wick: "I'm workin' on it." - John Wick: Chapter 2.
